Impossible!
by Demon22
Summary: No… impossible. It was just a dream. It can't be. He couldn't be dead. It was just a dream.


**Impossible**

All I could see was blood, the overwhelming crimson leaking onto grassy grounds. Amber eyes flashed in my vision.

No. Couldn't be. Impossible.

But my eyes can't lie; in front of me lay the golden warrior, my _brother_. He's just lying there, staring at me in disbelief.

This couldn't be happening.

It _had_ to be a dream. He can't die.

I stumbled backwards in shock as the golden tom tried to get up, mouthing words in soft hisses. I couldn't hear a word he was saying but I could _feel_ the tone he was using, full of disbelief and betrayal.

This couldn't be happening. It's impossible!

My eyes flickered downward, greeted with blood stained paws. The evidence of what happened heartbeats earlier. A reminder that it was possible.

_Impossible!_ This whole event was impossible, it never could happen!

My eyes flickered up to the golden warrior, except he really wasn't golden anymore, crimson staining the golden fur. Amber eyes locked onto mine, words unsaid flowing through the air as if an entire conversation was said without a single word being spoken.

I watched in utter horror as those eyes closed, the tom going limp on the crimson grass. I instantly wanted to run to him, to make sure he was still alive, still breathing, to help him but my paws stayed planted on the ground.

They seemed frozen, not able to move from the very ground they stood on.

He can't be dead, he can't die. It's not possible…

I watched as the amber eyes opened slightly, glaring at me in hurt, pain and betrayal, as if it was my entire fault. But it's not… it can't be right?

Because it's impossible for me to kill him, for me to_ harm _him.

It was just impossible.

The amber orbs slid close again, leaving me alone in the stained crimson fields of grass.

It's not possible, he can't be dead. It's just a dream, one of those normal dreams.

But I never had a normal dream… it was always someone else's dreams.

It's not really him. It can't be.

But no-one else is here…

_Shut up_. It _can't_ be him. He _can't _be dead. I _didn't_ kill him. This is just a _dream_. My _own_ dream. It _didn't_ have the real him in it.

But that means I want him dead, that's almost as bad as killing him.

I don't want him dead though…

This is just a stupid dream I have of a stupid fear I have for some stupid reason. Yes, that's it. When I wake up it will be completely normal, I won't be able to see again and he will still be living.

But as my world dimmed to darkness, what I had told myself seemed like some silly lie to hide the truth.

_But it is the truth… it had to be._

I blinked my eyes slightly, welcoming the darkness of my world, the only thing telling me that I was blind, that this was not another dream.

I let out a sigh of relief. It was all a dream, he didn't die. He still lives.

I closed my eyes, having no use for them at the moment. My ears flickered to where I had started to hear a slight ruckus.

A cry echoed around the camp. My ears strained to hear the hurried mews from the clearing and my eyes snapped open when I heard, 'Lionblaze… blood… everywhere… dead!"

No… impossible. It was just a dream. It can't be. He couldn't be dead. It was just a dream.

I suddenly smelt a familiar scent, Hollyleaf. She had panic and fear rolling off her in waves as she called out, "Jayfeather! Lionblaze… he's… he's dead! He died in his sleep and there was so much blood…" Her voice held so much sorrow, sorrow that I didn't feel for some reason.

My entire body seemed numb; I couldn't feel anything but my conscious could pick up the feeling that I _should _have been feeling.

But… I could feel one emotion, panic.

The panic was rising like a hurricane, swirling around in my mind.

Impossible. It couldn't be real. He can't be dead. This was just another dream. This was all impossible.

My mind suddenly went void of all thought; panic the only thing I could feel, the only thing I could _notice_.

When my mind cleared I noticed that I was crouched next to a cold body, one that smelled of death and blood. Nothing familiar of it. Suddenly, so suddenly, I felt the grief, the sorrow I should have felt when I first heard.

He was dead.

This wasn't a dream.

He was really dead.

_I killed my own brother._

I _murdered_ my own _brother_.

He was dead, gone. Never coming and it was all because of _me_.

It was all my fault.

It wasn't some normal dream, I really killed him.

He's really dead.

Nonexistent.

Impossible.

He can't be dead.

It's just… it's just impossible.

No, this can't be real.

But it is real… no it's not real. It can't be.

Impossible.

I suddenly felt a familiar presence beside me, fur pressed against mine. "Are you okay?" Hollyleaf whispered in a broken voice. No, I wanted to snap, no I'm not okay. I just found out I killed my own brother, I just found out I killed our brother! And worse I don't even feel regret even though I feel sorrow and grief! So no I'm not okay! But instead I found myself saying, "I will be okay."

"I can't believe he's really dead, it was just a sunrise ago that he was living, breathing, and talking. He was talking about being the best warrior you know? And now, now he's dead." Her voice broke several times as she silently sobbed, her entire body seeming to shake.

You're not helping; I wanted to tell her, you're just making it worse. Again, instead of saying that I found myself nodding, mumbling something I didn't pay any attention to.

The rest of the time we sat in silence, bidding our farewells to our brother but I didn't just bid my farewell, I asked for forgiveness even though I held no remorse, no guilt in my heart.

And when we were forced to leave from our brother's body, when I went back to my den to sleep, the first thing I saw were to amber eyes staring at me.

Then a voice, a voice I didn't believe I would hear again even if I saw him. "Why?" It asked; a simple question I didn't have an answer for.

The only thing I could say were things that wouldn't make any sense but, lately nothing has been making sense to me, not since that dream.

"No. Impossible."

**So… this was a 'request' I got a while ago from, Ospreytalon15, to have Jayfeather kill Lionblaze… so probably not what he was expecting, but I do have excuses 1. Being I am no good at fighting scenes so I just skipped that, 2. Being I never really know how someone would act if a loved one died, let alone if they killed them. I probably could have done a better panic attack or freak out oh-my-god-I-just-killed-my-brother! And to conclude this all I wasn't aiming for much if any angst in this (even though he just killed his brother in his dream) oh and there was another idea I had based on the request but that dealt with chapters and they were two-legs so I just picked this one... well… uh… enjoy :P**


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